


it's cold here in your shadow

by leonesroar



Category: Blue Lock (Manga)
Genre: (sorry about the angst), Angst, Brothers, Gen, Pre-Canon, bllkexchange, blue lock exchange, kinda OOC, lots of soccer references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:02:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26230840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leonesroar/pseuds/leonesroar
Summary: in an effort to get closer to his brother, rin asks sae to teach him how to play soccer.alternatively, a pre-canon fic about how rin ends up in blue lock.
Relationships: Itoshi Rin & Itoshi Sae
Kudos: 16





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> first things first, this fic was written as a blue lock exchange gift for re, @miyuqie! i hope it's alright <3
> 
> second things second, hoo boy was this a challenge to write - as someone who wasn't originally an itoshi brothers stan, it was so hard for me to get in their heads and try to do your prompt justice. but honestly now that i've written it and had to be with these boys for this whole journey, i gotta admit i'd d word for rin
> 
> third things third, sorry it's so angsty but i ended up wanting to make it pre-canon and we all know the canon is angsty as hell between the brothers so yeah 
> 
> ONE LAST IMPORTANT NOTE!!
> 
> \- in the first chapter, the boys are around 13-14 years old  
> \- in the second chapter they're 16-17
> 
> okay i will shut up now, hope you enjoy this!!

_Thud. Thud. Thud._

Rin knows this sound all too well. He rolls out of bed, still clutching his owl stuffy (whom he named Athena), and looks out the window to see his older brother kicking a soccer ball at the wall yet again. He slides the window open and sticks his head out while rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“Onii-san, you’re out here already?” Rin asks with a yawn.

“Obviously. I’ve gotta keep practicing if I wanna make the school’s team.” Sae wipes the sweat from his brow.

“Can you take a break? I wanna have breakfast.”

Sae rolls his eyes, but puts the ball down and walks into the house.

Rin closes the window and puts Athena back on his bed before making his way downstairs to the kitchen. He sits down at their kitchen table while Sae takes rice out of the rice cooker and puts it in a bowl. Once he finishes, he brings a tray with two small bowls to Rin.

“Just rice and miso soup, really?” Rin says with a touch of disappointment in his voice.

“I gotta go back out to practice again, sorry.” Sae says as he heads to the sliding glass doors leading to their backyard.

“You’re not even going to eat breakfast with me?”

Sae shakes his head no. He’s halfway out the door before he turns back to Rin and says “Mom told me to remind you to practice piano today, you have a recital coming up soon.”

“Yeah I know.”

The sliding door shuts and Rin is left alone to his breakfast while the faint sound of soccer ball on brick echoes outside yet again.

Ⓘ

Rin’s fingers glide across the piano keys like it’s nothing; creating a beautiful melody in the process. Playing the piano has become second nature to him after so many years of learning and practicing. His parents pride him on his talent and enter him in all sorts of recitals and performances. Rin doesn’t mind, however, he does wish his older brother would care a little.

The only thing that ever seemed to pass through Sae’s mind was soccer, and anything that wasn’t soccer or even soccer related in the slightest was seen as an inconvenience and bore for him.

_His younger brother included, apparently._

Rin finishes his practice for the day and heads to the living room where Sae is happily plopped on the floor just inches away from the TV.

“You’ll hurt your eyes if you sit so close to the TV, onii-san.” Rin says as he sits down on the couch. Sae’s watching a soccer match, as usual.

“But then I can’t see the plays! I wanna ingrain these in my brain and do them myself.”

Rin rolls his eyes. “You say that every time, how much can there possibly be to know?”

Sae doesn’t even turn to face his brother, but his words are directed at Rin anyway: “A lot, actually. There’s positioning, skills, plays in general, stats - and I wanna know it all. I wanna be the best player in the world and I wanna win the Champions League.”

“Not the World Cup?”

Sae faces Rin this time, his eyes glowing deep blue. “The World Cup is not a true contest of strength, Rin. Champions League, on the other hand, is filled with only the top teams in Europe, so every match is a hard fought battle. Japanese soccer is so boring too, so why would I wanna be a part of it? I wanna be where the winners are.”

As if on cue, one of the teams playing scores a goal and the crowd of fans at the match go crazy. So does Sae.

“WAHOO! RIN DID YOU SEE THAT?!” Sae is jumping up and down with his eyes glued to the screen.

“Raúl chips it in after a brilliant pass by Kaká, which puts Real Madrid in front! What a spectacular play by these two!” The commentator bellows.

“That Raúl guy must be really good.” Rin says.

Sae stops his cheering and turns to his brother with a very serious look on his face. “Oh no no no, you’ve got it all wrong. Watch this.”

Rin puts his attention on the tv, which is showing a replay of the goal. Kaká dribbles past three other players before passing the ball through another player’s legs to Raúl, who then flicks the ball into the net over the goalie.

“Did you see that? That goal would never have been able to happen if not for Kaká’s play. The midfielders make goals possible. They’re the glue of the team, just like Kaká is for Real Madrid,” Sae turns to face the tv where the Brazilian footballer is shown celebrating with his teammates, “And one day, that’ll be me in his place.”

Sae was always making big claims like that; he had ambition like no one else. The redhead was always up at the ass-crack of dawn kicking his soccer ball around or watching football matches like his life depended on it. Rin may not ever say it, but he knows in his heart that his older brother will make it there someday.

Ⓘ

The game ends with Real Madrid winning 2-0 over Barcelona, which Sae is over the moon about since Real Madrid is his favorite team and Barcelona is their arch-rival. Once the post match interviews finish, Rin boots up his PlayStation 4.

“Do you wanna play Resident Evil 7 with me, onii-san?” Rin asks as he grabs a controller.

Sae shakes his head no again. “You know the drill, I gotta practice those moves I just saw. Besides, I don’t even know how you can play games like that. They’re way too creepy.” He laces up his cleats and heads outside once again.

_Why do I even bother asking at this point?_ Rin thinks to himself as his game starts up. His brother never wants to do anything with him, not if soccer isn’t involved in some capacity. He’s happy that his brother is doing what he loves, but at the same time… he is lonely. _Incredibly lonely._

When they were little, the two of them were inseparable and played together all the time. But now, Sae’s always doing soccer stuff and Rin is left on his own. Rin usually doesn’t let it get to him, but sometimes he just feels too much and can’t hold it in like he always tries to.

A few tears creep out of his ice blue eyes as he looks out the window at his older brother. Sae is doing drills with his agility ladder, eyes focused on the ground. Suddenly he stops, wipes the sweat from his brow, grabs something from the ground, and begins walking towards the back door.

Rin’s head snaps back to the screen and hugs his knees in close so his brother won’t see his moment of weakness.

Sae opens the door and heads to the fridge to refill his bottle with cold water. It’s silent except for the noise of the game and the water hitting the metal of the bottle. A few stifled sobs managed to slip their way out of Rin.

“I told you those games were creepy.” Sae says before walking back outside.

Ⓘ

Rin can’t sleep. He clutches Athena tight and rolls onto his side. On the bunk above him, Sae is sleeping peacefully - and snoring quite loudly.

Rin’s mind is racing. Today he cut it _way_ too close. What would’ve happened if Sae caught him looking out the window? How would he have reacted? He pushes those thoughts away and cuddles Athena.

_You won’t leave me, right?_ He thinks while looking into its bright yellow eyes. He wants desperately to be a part of Sae’s life again, but he doesn’t know how when Sae is all about soccer.

_Wait._

_All about soccer…_

Rin doesn’t know why he didn’t think of this sooner. He begins devising a plan in his mind for tomorrow. He was going to get Sae back and still allow him to do what he loved.

He closes his eyes and falls into one of the best sleeps he’s had in a very long time.

Ⓘ

Rin is woken up by the sound of Sae’s footsteps coming down the bunkbed ladder. Usually he just stirs a bit and falls back asleep, but today he gets up and stretches instead.

“What’re you doing up so early? I’m just going to do my warmup stretches.” Sae asks him before yawning.

“Onii-san, can I ask you something?” Rin is nervous, but he knows nothing will change if he doesn’t do this.

“Sure.” His brother responds as he looks through the drawers for his clothes.

“Can you teach me how to play soccer?”

Sae stands up straight and turns around to look at his younger brother. He can see the desire in his brother’s eyes - one that he had so many years ago. A smirk spreads its way across his face.

“Hell yeah. Put on some clothes and I’ll run you through the basics.”

Ⓘ

“So the main goal of soccer is to score the ball in your opponent’s net.”

Rin rolls his eyes. “How dumb do you think I am?”

“Hey listen, I’m just trying to be nice and give you a 100% thorough explanation.”

Although his brother is being a dumbass, Rin is over the moon. It feels like it used to; the two of them spending time together like this. So he listens to his brother blabber on about whatever soccer rules with open ears and a smile on his face, eager at the chance to be with him in a way that Sae will enjoy.

“Before you even touch the ball, you should do some agility training.” Sae lays out some tiny colored cones as well as his agility ladder.

Rin goes through the motions and runs in between the cones, then steps quickly between the rungs of the ladder. He’s tired, but at the same time he feels so energized. Sae follows him and does it just as fast. Once he reaches where Rin is standing, he holds out a fist.

“And that ends your first lesson, Rin.” Sae says with a smile.

Rin fist bumps him and smiles back.

“Thanks, onii-san.”

“Hey, you can call me Sae.”

Rin doesn’t remember the last time he was this happy.


	2. Chapter 2

“Rin, hurry up! We’ve got a game today!” Sae says excitedly from outside the bathroom door.

“Yeah I’m just brushing my teeth! I’ll be down in a minute!” He says through the toothpaste in his mouth. It’s been a good while now since his older brother began teaching him soccer, and Rin has loved every second of it.

Not only has he been able to reconnect with his brother, but he’s learned that soccer is really fun. He loves the feeling of victory that surges through his veins when a ball he kicks hits the back of the net. He’s become a decent striker, and he managed to make it to their school’s team with his brother.

Once he’s done getting ready, he heads downstairs and grabs his soccer bag before getting in the car with his mom and brother.

“Hey, I heard there’s going to be scouts at this game,” Sae says as he buckles his seatbelt, “This could be my big chance to get out there and make a name for myself.”

_He’s gotta mean both of us, right?_ Rin thinks, but quickly pushes the thought away so he can’t dwell on it.

“That’s cool, I’ll make sure to score plenty of goals.” He decides to say instead.

“Don’t forget who sets up those goals for you.”

Rin rolls his eyes and watches the world go by through the car window. They’re playing against the second ranked team in their division today, so the match will be tough. He doesn’t doubt his own abilities, but secretly he seeks validation from Sae. Despite his older brother teaching him how to play soccer, he never once praised him. Perhaps today will be different?

When they arrive at the soccer field, the other team has already begun their warmups. The brothers drop their bags off at the bench and lace up their cleats before joining their other teammates on the field. After warming up a bit, the teams get in position on the field, and the starting whistle is blown.

Ⓘ

The match is tied 2-2 at half time. Rin has scored both of the team’s goals thus far, both of which being assisted by Sae. According to one of the managers, the Itoshi brothers seem to be the objects of the scouts’ interest.

“I just gotta get one more in and we’ll win.” Rin takes his water bottle and squirts a steady stream in his mouth.

Sae says nothing in return. He’s been oddly quiet.

_Must be the score, once I get another point he’ll go back to normal…_

_Right?_

Ⓘ

The teams line up again and the second half of the match begins. They’ve only got 45 minutes left to prove their worth, so they better make it count.

The other team dominates the possession right off the bat and Rin begins to panic a little bit. He isn’t used to being out of control on the field. His brother is trying his best to reclaim control of the ball; he’s stuck to the player with possession like a shadow. He just waits for the moment his brother gets the ball so he can set up a goal like they always do.

The other team makes a shot on goal and misses, which leads to a corner kick. Rin stands with the wall fairly close to the net, while Sae is closer to the edge of the 18 yard box. The player takes his kick, and it connects right with Sae’s chest. He starts running towards the opponent’s net.

Rin smiles. _This is my big moment!_

He sprints with all the energy left in his body to get ahead of Sae and set up for a goal.

“Sae! I’m open! Pass it to me and I’ll get us a point!” Rin shouts, but Sae ignores him and is focused solely on the net.

There’s a sudden tightness in Rin’s chest.

Just as Sae approaches the 18 yard box of the opposing team, he does something absolutely insane - he rainbow flicks the ball high into the air, turns backwards, and bicycle kicks the ball right past the goalie into the top right corner of the net.

The stands go mad. Sae roars in celebration and points a finger in the air.

Rin stands right where he is, unmoving.

Ⓘ

The game ends 3-2 for their team. Sae doesn’t speak a word to Rin.

While they’re at their bench cooling off, a man in a dress shirt approaches Sae. Rin eavesdrops on the conversation.

The man introduces himself as a soccer scout from Spain. He calls Sae’s talent immeasurable (among other incredibly high compliments) and invites him to come to Madrid.

Rin watches as the man then walks away without so much as giving him a glance.

Ⓘ

It’s been months since Sae left. Rin sits in his (what used to be their) bedroom and stares at the tv. A flash of red hair in a white jersey appears cheering on the screen.

Rin turns the tv off.

He gets up and walks over to his desk and finds some old sheet music that he planned to play at his next piano recital. It’s an arrangement of the Champions League theme; a song he picked out specifically to impress his brother.

_Won’t be needing this anymore._

He tosses it in the trash and heads downstairs.

“Rin, a letter came for you.” His mother says, and she gestures to the envelope on the kitchen table.

Rin opens the letter and reads the first line.

_Selection for a Player Improvement Project._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and there you have it! thank you for reading!
> 
> comments and kudos are never required but always appreciated :)
> 
> follow me on twitter if you'd like: @leonesroar


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